The Bayan Learning Community had the opportunity to meet Dr. Judy Patacsil and watch the short film titled, Silent Sacrifices. This event was by far the most emotionally intense one so far. Dr. Patacsil brought many smiles and tears amongst the crowd. During the film, we learned about the high suicide rates amongst young Filipino/Filipina teens, emotional relationships with parents and their children, and the struggles each person in the video went through. The film itself was very powerful. I felt relatable to a lot of things the teens were going through with their parents and strong points they had brought up.
As far as communicating with my parents, I am weak. Majority of the time, I find myself not being able to build up the courage to talk with my parents or explain myself when I disagree with them. When I do, rarely, have the courage to explain myself when I disagree with them, I get lectured at. I felt that my parents would always find something negative to say, and turn it into something big. I gave up, and began keeping things I had to say to myself. Until this day, I keep everything I need to say to myself. I think that explains why people complain that I have a "wall" built around me. Sometimes, I can't help but keep that "wall" up regardless who anyone is to me because I am afraid of them having something negative to say. It's terrible having to hold everything in me. If you have a voice, you shouldn't be afraid to speak up. Keeping things to myself has caused me a lot of emotional stress.
A second point that was brought up in the film was parents’ not saying “I love you” to their children. From what I remember, I don’t recall my parents ever saying those three words to me or my younger siblings. Although, some parents do show their love and affection towards their children through action, I think it’s important to hear it verbally to reassure a child. Lastly, a girl in the film mentioned how she was afraid of telling her parents how she hated school because she knew her parents struggled to get her where she is today. I can very much so relate to this, well, maybe not so much of the hate part. I often times feel discouraged. This is my third year at Southwestern College, and I have been off and on with majors. My parents are huge fans about school being a priority, and I understand that they only want the best for me. A lot of times, my parents pressure me into doing one thing and another. It overwhelms me, and they don’t understand that. There’s only one of me, and I can only do so much, I have been at my lowest when it comes to school. When I say lowest, I mean as low as quitting school to join the military and thoughts of suicide. Last Fall semester, I actually went behind my parents’ back to see an Air Force recruiter. I kept it a secret for about two weeks and told my parents. My parents were so angry at me, and told me it was the wrong move. It’s just so hard figuring out what the “right” move is when my parents put so much pressure on me rather than helping me get on the right path. I refuse to tell them about my suicidal thoughts. I mean, I have never told or mentioned it to anyone until now. I’m just so thankful that I didn’t attempt it, and that I am alive.
Just like the girl’s parents in the video, I know my parents worked hard to get me and my siblings where we are today. For me, it’s hard complaining to my parents, they have been through hell and back to get our family what we need. My dad was in the Army for 22 years, now works early mornings until night, and my mom works all day to set food on the table, keep us warm, and a roof over our heads. For me to complain about school is not even comparable. After the film, we had a discussion with Dr. Patacsil and a few people shared personal stories that brought tears to the crowd. We need to understand that everyone is going through their own personal battle. It was amazing how a film brought people together because of similar stories and experiences.
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